Looking at past end-of-the-year posts, I realized how much I focused on how hard the year was. It seems like every year's end, all I could come up with was how challenging it was and how faithful God is. Balance is good…right?! This year, I can’t help but look back and think about how much I missed the point.
Life is hard.
Period.
It’s supposed to be. If it wasn’t, why would we need the God who helps, rescues, redeems, and swoops in right when we need it the most? We wouldn’t. I then thought about my reaction to those exact words, but if they had come from Jayden every year. While some may sound good and even relatable, I would say, son, you missed it. You missed all the beauty and adventure, the joy and the laughs, the tears, and through pain, it produced the incredible fight and grit you possess. You missed all the ways God turned it for good by focusing on the bad.
Our eyes are trained and conditioned to see the worst in things. It all started in the garden. Yes, it all falls back to one moment with an apple. But Eve wasn’t deceived because of some traumatic event; she was deceived into thinking God was holding out on her, that she was missing out. Looking back on my previous posts, I realize my “hard” was in the same category. I thought God was holding out on me. I wasn’t living the life I deserved, and I deserved better. While this was true in some ways, God is a God who does nothing by accident. Even allowing Eve to be deceived, was a part of his plan. If this is true, then my pain and my heartache would be a part of his plan too. My “hard” had a purpose.
How quickly I would correct this hypothetical scenario if Jayden held the pen, but I don’t hold myself to the same standard? My son is someone who continually sees the good in everything and everyone. It is one of the many reasons why I admire and respect him so much.
Quick story: The day of his baptism- the day he planned from start to finish, what to have served for food, what drinks to get, what song would play while he was getting dunked- did not even bat an eye to the fact that it was going to be freezing and would rain, possibly snow, the entire morning. His response was, “I love the rain! That would be awesome if it rained!” Lucky for apparently only me, it didn’t rain, not one single drop. Not only that, but the clouds separated, and the sun shined beautifully the entire time we were at the reservoir. I wish I had this kind of faith when darkness surrounded me.
Yesterday, I finished a 20-page paper on the New Testament, and it has transformed how I see the year's end. December 25 is a day of immense hope. A day of rejoicing, a day of celebration and gratitude. We all know the Christmas story so much that we are desensitized to its power. It does not affect us aside from the day. After deep diving into the New Testament, I noticed how unaffected I was by a story that changed everything. Not from the standpoint of shame but from the standpoint of it just being a story. I wasn’t there. I didn’t wait thousands of years praying and hoping I would be alive to see the coming King. I didn’t experience the pain and suffering one would endure because of what they believed or the humiliation year after year of waiting and the savior not coming. Is he even real? When will he come? Does he even hear our cries?
We live in the after.
We never have to wait in anticipation for someone or something to reach down from the heavens and save our souls. I think of Mary and her undoubting faith and trust that she was chosen to carry the Savior of the world. With her ever-growing belly as a reminder that it wasn’t a dream. Joseph trusted an angel's word that this baby came from God despite all the judgment and harsh words I am sure they felt/heard. Traveling miles to a place that had no room for them. Mary at her breaking point, ready to give birth in the middle of the street if she had to. If we wanted to compare “hard,” there would only be Mary left standing. She labored on a donkey and finally birthed Emmanuel into the world. The God with us was surely with her. The one they were all waiting for is here.
My favorite part of this story though, is a man named Simeon. The Holy Spirit told him he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ (Luke 2:25-35). In the midst of history in the making, the transforming, and literal savior entering into the world, God remembered Simeon.
He’s not too busy for you either.
In three days we will enjoy the gift of Christmas and open presents to bring joy to our loved ones. In the midst of the chaos and ripped-open wrapping paper, may we remember the only gift that transcends anything we could receive on this earth. May you remember the joy of your salvation as you remember the birth of Jesus. I pray his birth would shatter any religiosity left in our hearts and be a reminder of the continual hope we find in him. In hardship and pain, would we remember his life and the blessing we find in the peace of his presence. And may we never forget this Christmas season that he is the gift. There is nothing greater.
Live Loved,
Jaimee
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